A Quick Blade Runner Primer in Tweets

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With Blade Runner 2049 opening in a few days, I felt pressure to familiarize myself with the original 1982 Blade Runner, so I rented it online and watched on a lazy Saturday.

Don’t have time to watch it this week? Get everything you need to know in my stream-of-consciousness Blade Runner reaction tweets.

From the beginning, I feared I was out of my league.

The plot line was immediately apparent, but I always question how such obvious negative consequences could not be foreseen.

I was also slightly distracted that this movie, released in 1982, was about the future, in 2019.

First we met Leon. I didn’t know who he was.

Then we met Harrison Ford, aka Deckard, aka Indiana Jones. He was hired under duress to kill the evil robots.

I learned that Leon, some other man named Roy, and two women with names created by 6-year-old girls were all escaped Replicants, aka possibly evil robots that are super smart and strong and angry because they are used as slaves.

The future looked pretty grimy, but one of the perks was having designer artificial animals as robot pets.

Deckard had his battle-tested ways of deciding who was a Replicant, so he can know who to assassinate. He asked some pretty weird questions to Rachael.

Also, Deckard said that Replicants wouldn’t have attachment to photographs or any kind of memories.

Despite being the future, the scientists still had to wear really prehistoric looking fur coats in the lab, which looked like a walk-in freezer.

The more I learned about Replicants, the more insecure I became about my identity.

Also I totally would have dressed like the Replicant Pris if I was of age in 1982.

Deckard was clearly conflicted about killing the Replicants, but I’m not sure at what point that happened, unless it was during the Lesbian Question.

Something that has definitely happened to me.

Things got a little steamy and I couldn’t help but notice that Deckard had a 1970’s chest carpet.

I understand this future is dystopian, but I would think there would still be no need for clowns.

We learn what the problem is.

And get a seemingly deep but also uninspiring lesson.

The God of Biomechanics was mentioned sarcastically in passing. I’m not informed enough about this universe to understand the joke.

Blonde men are usually evil.

I seriously observed no blades.

If I did have a blade, I would use it on those mannequins.

Also, quick question….

This was #YOLO, before its time!

We got on a little bit of a rhetorical question jag.

In conclusion, maybe we are more like the Replicants than we are different from them.

Stay tuned for the Blade Runner 2049 review, coming soon.

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